A comprehensive collection of the wit and the wisdom, the Super Bowls and super scandals, the weapons charges and arrest warrants of “America's Team” turned “American Nightmare&rdquo — the Dallas Cowboys. From the glory years of Landry and Staubach, the Cowgirls and the Super Bowl, to the bizarre reign of error, terror, and hilarity of the 90s Dallas Cowboys under their flamboyant owner Jerry Jones (the man San Francisco 49ers general manager Carmen Policy describes as a “snake-oil” salesman and “a gunslinger”'; the man who Art Modell says “never met a camera he didn’t like”), and ex-coaches Jimmy “Jerry Jones don’t know shit” Johnson and Barry “All this because of a handful of dopin’, rapin’, shootin’ kids” Switzer, this collection of wit and wisdom presents the rise and fall of the football team all America loves to hate. Learn the origin of all the best Cowboy stories, classics like:
* Jerry Jones recently went to a black-tie function with only one shoe on. Someone said, “Jerry, you lost a shoe.” Jerry said: “No, I found one.”
* Ever notice those people in the stands holding Bible verses? You know, like John 3:16? Well, I got even with them. I went to church the other day and held up a sign that said: “Christ, Tom Landry got screwed over.” And the answers to other, more recent enigmas, including:
* Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving? The police. * Why can’t Michael Irvin get into a huddle on the field anymore? It’s a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.
The receptions, first downs, rushing records, touchdowns, acquittals, and convictions. Mamas, Don’t Let Your Cowboys Grow Up To Be Babies provides every NFL fan with the vital stats they need to be up to date with antics of the run-and-gun boys from the wild west. In today’s NFL you really do need a book like this: just in case you want to tell the pros from the cons.
Michael Holmes is a writer, editor, and cultural critic who has published books of poetry, anthologies, and non-fiction with a number of Canadian presses.
Published: September 1998
Dimensions: 4 x 6 in.